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11/24/04 - Have you ever asked yourself, "Why is it that people cry at funerals?"
Why are they so sad to see a person die? I know in the Muslim world they consider it shameful if you cry at the funeral of a loved one. I know I cried at the death of my uncle. But what are the reasons exactly? Why do we fear death at all? It seems if we knew any better we'd fear conception. In the following I will attempt to address some ideas of my own about why I think people are afraid to die, among many more possible reasons.

I would like to start by saying that in many instances, I would not be afraid to die. I have never faced death personally, but I have thought about it philosophically. So what about the other scenarios? What is it that instills fear of death in me?

My biggest fear of death is how I'm going to die. It has nothing to do with the idea of the loss of animation of my body, nothing to do with the loss of my memories. It's the overwhelming stimulation to my nervous system that I'm worried about. Will I have a heart attack and be in sharp pain for a short time, will I pass in my sleep with no pain. These are the ideas that, in my opinion, subconsciously cause people to fear death. The idea that they are no longer in control of their immediate fate. The idea that they may never be in control again.

I would like to discuss control. I am the highly biased example in this study...he he.
I myself have been suicidal from time to time, and I don’t believe this to be uncommon. When I would think about killing myself, I knew I'd never be able to just shoot myself or something violent like that. My suicide would be calculated and calm, carbon dioxide poisoning (odorless, and painless), or nitrous oxide to deprive the brain of oxygen. But I was never afraid of killing myself, I was never afraid of dying because I knew in this case I would be in control and it would be painless and pleasant. I will never make a decision about a religious or naturalist argument, I'm agnostic, so the after life never enters into it. To be honest, I welcome death because I think about it as rest as opposed to constant nervous stimulation. Anyway, I started to question why is it that I'm not scared. Why would it be so easy to kill myself, aside from having no family, and no soul mate etc. The reason why is control until the end.

This next idea is about death out of your control. Let's take the atomic bomb for instance. Like I said before, ultimately I'm not afraid to die, I consider it rest, but why when I think about an atomic bomb exploding 100 miles away (far enough to kill you, but enough time to jump up and question), why am I afraid to die. My natural instincts kick in, my fight or flight, and I begin to try to regain control of the situation by ducking in the bathtub etc. How about earthquakes? You’re probably not going to die in an earthquake (in America) but, when there is a quake, your thinking about escalation, and your at least aware of saving your life. I'm aware of the cocky exceptions to this idea, but most people at least wake up. My point with the latter example is, even though you know you'll probably be okay, there's still the question of variability and the total loss of control. I believe this, ultimately is what causes us to fear dying. The chemical balances in your body will not allow you to reason your way to more control.

I realize that people have lives that they love. They may have children, and they may have a soul mate they would miss, or they may have exorbitant amounts of money that they are enjoying. They are afraid to lose the life they love. Suicide would not be so easy for these people, but I believe the biological machine within them is the same. People of this type have a much more sensitive fight or flight instinct that is likely to kick in sooner when you have something to protect. Ultimately you are still just trying to gain control, and fear is a useful tool.

The goal of this discourse was to try to make control of the fear of death easier. If you’re not in a highly volatile situation where you cant reason, then just relax, and let your time of rest come. I want you to know that I am agnostic, I have made no religious or naturalistic choices, and I feel death is better than life. I believe death is a part of life, like sleep is to waking, and I love sleep.

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